Botched Balloons

When it comes to cake decorating, you can't get any more basic than the balloon. One roundish blob of icing, a string, and voila! You're done! This staple of icing decor is so simple that even the most inexperienced of decorators couldn't possibly Wreck it up.

[pause]


BWAHAHAHAH! Hah, did you see what I did there? How I managed to keep a straight face? Hoo boy! [wiping eyes] Heehee!

Ok, seriously, let's count down the ways in which Wreckerators have managed to destroy the seemingly simple balloon, shall we?

1) Gravity Need Not Apply

I suppose you could say the writing is what's upside down, but even then those balloons look more like wrinkly piles of fresh paint than anything else. Yech.

2) Floaters, or Swimmers?

I see this problem a lot, and I don't think it's just 'cuz I have that V-day post on the brain.

It doesn't help when the "balloons" are swimming in a circle, either:

This balloon placement makes perfect sense...during tornado season.

3) Too Small

This is no doubt a commentary on the vast, off-centered, blankness of life.

4) Too big.

These behemoths are coming in for the kill with their teensy dagger strings.

5) Swirly Suckers

Multicolored swirls look, at best, like lollipops. At worst, we're facing the Teletubby poo debacle all over again.

6) "You may use any icing color in the kitchen. EXCEPT THIS ONE."

Ooh, could those be a gaggle of failing organs*, or perhaps hacky sacks made from old pantyhose? Here's hoping!!

Janice L., Nezuko, Troy K., Helen D., Jessica G., & Bex, thanks for taking us up, up and away.


* Geese, organs - they're practically interchangeable, right?