Purging the Evil Within

There was a time when I was accused of excessive harping on the evil that is the Cupcake Cake (CCC, for short). So, I piped down (pun intended). However, since more of you newbie Wrecktators are asking me what a CCC is, I believe the time has come for a refresher course. I can't have you lackeys out there fighting Wreckage you don't fully understand, now, can I?

Now gather 'round, and prepare to have your innocence shattered.

Behold!

Just look at this hulking terror, poised to pounce on common decency and smother it with its blue-smeared putrescence. Back away slowly, now, and no one will get hurt.

Remember ol' Stay-Puft? Well, he's got nothing on Blueberry Sherry here:

She looks ready to stomp her way downtown and gobble up some taxi cabs, doesn't she? I particularly like the concave face, though: it lends a little "Le Neanderthal Chic".

Since most large chain bakeries require their bakers to make CCCs, decorators have learned to cope with these horrors in a variety of ways.

Some have a blinding sense of ambition...

"I will make a football out of cupcakes. I WILL!!!"

Others try to hide their shameful creations any way they can:

"Cupcake Cake? Where? I don't know what you mean; this here is just a simple layer cake. With candles. Yep, no cupcakes here! La Tee Da..."

A few remain in classic stages of denial:

"It is a sheet cake. It IS!
Now hand me that bucket of 'Happy Birthday' picks; I think I missed a spot."

And finally, some decorators have clearly been pushed beyond the bounds of sanity, but at least they're having a ripping-good time:

[maniacal giggling]

Kristi M., Vanessa H., Laura H., Sharon P., Jeremy P., Misty K., & Regina H., I think we need to step up our Anti-CCC efforts. These things are getting worse!