Panic at the Disco

Ashley R. is the one who makes all the "cool" cakes for her friends' birthdays, so when it came time for her own birthday her friend Kat decided to order her a "super spectacular" professional cake. Kat gave the baker this photo of Ashley's favorite band, Panic at the Disco:

...and she asked that the cake look like lead singer Brendon Urie (2nd from left).

Now, this can't be the best photo of Urie out there - I mean, he's gnawing on a bunch of flowers - so you have to pity the baker a little.

Well, until you see this, that is:

"Hey you guuuuys!!"

Now you're just pitying Ashley, right?

If you're like me, you're not going to be able to tear your eyes away from this thing for a while. That's Ok, though; I'll wait.

[whistling]


Poor Kat had the cake delivered right to Ashley's door, so she didn't see it herself until after she arrived at the party to find everyone backed wide-eyed against the walls in a defensive line. Then, when they tried to cut the thing, they found it was covered with rock-hard rice krispy treats and tasted bad to boot. Still, all was not lost: Upon discovering that the mouth and nostrils were hollow, the party-goers amused themselves by sticking stuff in them.

Ah, Ashley, it's nice to hear your friends are my kind of friends. I'd have some red licorice strips up those nostrils faster than you can say "deranged man found beaten to death by his own hand".

An Indecent Proposal

Wrecks reader Mark B. decided to propose to his girlfriend while they were on a Caribbean cruise last August. Like all good guys, he wanted to do it in a way that was both memorable and a little unique. So, after much thought, he decided to use a cake. (Told you he was a good guy.) With that settled, all that was left to do was choose the perfect words to form his request.

Well, the night before he planned to propose arrived, and Mark still hadn't decided on an inscription. As he and his girlfriend went for a walk on the beach, though, they came across the very inspiration he'd been looking for. There, written in the sand, illuminated by moonlight, was the word "dork".

Ok, so that might not seem like the most romantic of inspirations to you or me, but for Mark it was "a sign". He tells me his girlfriend was always calling him a dork at the time (with much affection, I'm sure), and so standing there that night, he knew exactly what his proposal cake should say.

Now, let's set the scene:

The meal is over, the dessert orders have been given, and Mark is sitting on pins and needles, awaiting the arrival of his proposal cake. The waiter approaches and, with a smile at Mark, places a covered tray before his unsuspecting girlfriend. Then, with a flick of the wrist, the waiter removes the lid to reveal....

this.



Huh.



Well, on the bright side, Mark, this IS quite memorable. In an incomprehensible, what-exactly-did-the-baker-think-s/he-was-writing? kind of way. Still, here's hoping your lovely lady had "many" reasons to agree to "marry" the dork in question. ;)

Happy Falker Satherhood!

As with the infamous USB cake, some Wrecks cannot be fully appreciated until you know the story behind them. Fortunately, you guys looove to tell me your stories - some of which I've been hoarding to include in the upcoming Cake Wrecks book - and now I think it's high time to start featuring more of them.

Ashley J. had two male coworkers each expecting a child, so the office decided to get them a cake. They wanted it to say, "Happy Fatherhood Shawn and Glenn".

Instead, they got this:



Like you, I'm sure, Ashley & the gang were just dying to know what the decorator thought he or she was writing, exactly. So, they decided to go find out. Yep, that's right: They grabbed a video camera (did I mention they work at the Fox television animation studio?) and strolled down the street to pay a little visit to the bakery in question.

Here's what happened next (the best bits are in the first 2 minutes):




"It's like a word journey" - hilarious. Oh, and Ashley writes "Please forgive the Tickle-Me-Elmo laughter coming from behind the camera...that's me."

Ashley, I think it's safe to say we all forgive you. It's just too bad the manager didn't have as much of a sense of humor as you guys did; after all, I think you and Rebner were extremely pleasant about it, all things considered. :)

Clean-Up on Aisle 12

Parental Note: Today's Wreck may expand your child's vocabulary in some unsavory ways.


When Steve S.'s coworker received a transfer to a different branch, the store decided to get the coworker a going-away cake. The inscription was your typical "You make our store better!" kind of thing.

Now, normally this wouldn't be a problem, no matter how badly the Wreckerator mangles the inscription.

But then, normally the company in question is NOT BJ's Wholesale Club.



Which, naturally, someone chose to abbreviate.

Lunch break just got awkward.

I would like to point out that Steve submitted this Wreck because "better" looks like "bitter" - and he thought that was funnily appropriate. And it is, but clearly Steve's mind did not go to the gutter where the rest of ours are. (More's the pity.)



- Related Wreckage: Marcus and the New Job